Thursday, January 28, 2010

Letting your best friend go....

I just realized the my scheduled post didn't post, so I'll get that up a little later.  Today I'm am sad.  Yesterday was one of the most difficult days of my entire life.  Yesterday I had to say good-bye to my best friend and my companion for nearly 20 years.

If you have kept up with my blog, you may remember when I took my cat Boston to the vet several weeks ago.  She had been diagnosed with renal failure.  She has been getting worse over the past several weeks.  Her arthritis prohibited her from getting up and down the steps, or even getting into the litter box - of course it didn't stop her from sleeping on her "perch" on top of the couch.  I suppose she saved her energy to get up and down from there several times a day - most time it wasn't graceful.

She recently began drinking lots more and eating less.  Her cries of pain were becoming more regular.  Although she has always remained in good spirits.  Yesterday afternoon I made the dreaded call to the vet.  Deciding the fate of my old girl.  Part of me feels guilty, the other feels at peace.  Renal failure doesn't cause them to become lathargic or "out of it".  She remained the same loyal friend that I have loved and counted on.  I couldn't let her suffer and watch the pain get worse. I hope I didn't act too soon.  I miss her so much - and the tears haven't stopped.

So how do you say good-bye to someone that has been with you through every up and down in your life for the past 20 years?  She came to me 3 weeks old, helpless and dying.  I poured my heart into taking care of her.  She was a fighter and returned the favor by sticking by me through all of the ups and downs in my life.  I know what your thinking, she's only a cat... but she was the one constant in my life that I could always depend on, just like a loyal dog... I don't think she realized she was a cat.  She even licked the tears off my face while we were waiting for the doctor yesterday.  I hated saying good-bye...

I can't find manydigital pictures of her... she wasn't photogenic and hated the camera.  Here is what I could find.

This one was when Lindsay was a few months old.  She loved the kids and didn't mind getting her tail tugged and her fur pulled.

I tried to fix the typos, but I can't see through the flood of tears.  My post today was like writing in a journal, or a eulogy.  I could honestly sit here and type all day about her, the kids, my life, and how she always made everything alright.  This post is more of a means for me to help cope with my loss.  If you've stuck around to read, thank you dearly for listening.

I love you Boston!  I'm sorry, and I MISS YOU!




Jane, at Thepaperaffair said...

I's so sorry, I am crying myself. I have two cats myself and NO, they are not only cats!!! I don't know what I will do when they leave me. I know you will miss your sweet kitty but you gave her a wonderful life!! Hugs to you.

The Paper Artist's Boutique said...

Kimm, sorry for your loss. It isn't crazy or anything wrong with you missing her so. Animals have a way of doing that to us. I had a dog that went through a lot with me that I had to put down, and well it was very difficult. I know what you are heart goes out to you. Sherry

Anonymous said...

Thank you girls! (((HUGS))) If I had a child at 16, Boston would be my "first born". She was so sick when I found her and her that she required lots of attention and trips to the vet for the first year of her life. Tending to her and her sister was like having a 2 little one running around. We lost her sister last year to the same illness. Ebony was my Mom's cat, and now all 3 of them are together. I know my Mom will take good care of her.

Maureen Reiss said...

Kimm so sorry to hear about your loss. Isn't it the worst decision you have to make? I also made the decision last July for my 17 year old cat. His was very sudden, he was fine and then one day he couldn't walk. The vet said he was in full kidney failure and in alot of pain. But even knowing that
i felt selfish and wasn't ready to let him go but my husband told me it would be better for him. So I agreed. I'm crying writing this, I still feel the loss. But it does get better. Don't let anyone tell you he was just a cat after 20 years he was your family. And we all need to greive for family. Just remember the good times and know that he's in a better place now. Maureen

Killam Creative said...

Oh Kimm, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm crying right now for you. I lost my beloved dog two and a half years ago and still miss him. I know how your heart is breaking, sweetie, and I am so sorry.


Carol said...

I'm so sorry Kim. She was a beautiful kitty with gorgeous colors. She came into you and your family's life and blessed it daily and enriched your lives beyond measure. She has left a legacy of wonderful memories to cherish of the times you shared. Thank you for sharing her and your story with us.

mysweetpaperdreams said...

Oh Kimmie,

I am so, so sorry sweetie. I know you loved her, and I hate to hear the sadness in your post.

It is a hard thing to do, to let them go. But it was the right decision, she lived a great life and you just try and remember all the happy times you had with her.